Messianic Complex

I seem to have it. A couple of minutes ago we passed by Pasay Road going to Edsa when we saw this cab driver talking to a traffic officer. I can see from the cab driver's face that he was pleading, asking the traffic officer if he could just let it go. My heart was crushed that very instant. Seriously. I wanted to go down the car and fix everything for the manong. It looked like no traffic violation was done, but don't know right? I wasn't really there when it happened. But maybe i just wish there was no violation because i know that the cab driver will lose a week's worth of earnings or even more. And where will he get the money to get back his license when he can barely reach the boundary? Then what will he bring home to his family? Where will he get the money for his kids' allowance? Will he resort to something desperate and illegal? It was a heartbreaking scene and i can't get over it! This is not the first time I've seen something like this and felt like helping the helpless, saving them from the unfortunate situation. This may sound really clueless, but why does it have to be like this? Why are there poor people? Why is it that even if people work hard, they still suffer? Can't they have a break?

I pray that one day when i wake up, the world will be free from poverty and suffering. I know that's far from happening, but i will continue to hope. And maybe next time i should really help instead of wishing i can help. I may not be able to save the world or even just our country, but i can do my own share and that's a start.

Love Thy Neighbor

In the Book of Leviticus 19:18 it says "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD." But how can i love a pompous-ass neighbor like my brother's?

Yesterday our helper's daughter told my brother that the "Barangay" went to their house because something happened with their neighbor. My sister and i decided to come along worrying that this neighbor might take advantage of our brother. As soon as we get there, i saw this bald man and fat woman outside the corner house. Then after we parked i finally saw what the problem is. This stupid neighbor of theirs blocked the gutter so that the water coming from Carlo's house will not flow to their side. I was so pissed because it was stagnant and can cause dengue.  Zoe is just 6 months and if something happens to her because of that, i will sue! So i muttered these words and my brother and sister started taking pictures. Then the husband and wife approached us with very high voices. Then an arguement broke.

I have high respect for older people. Believe me. My parents brought me up that way. But if the supposedly old people who are role models act like assholes and bitches, then that's a different story. I could've approached this differently, talked to them with reason, but they've been very difficult from the start. They even told us "we want to antagonize them so they will do something about it." And this is coming from a Pastor! Shameful! Yes, i could've been more patient, i could've been more reasonable, but no. I choose not to be bullied by these hypocrites. We have rights as much as they do.

In the end my level-headed brother settled it. I am okay with what has happened. It is my brother who will be dealing with this neighbor anyway. I want to put this to rest. But never ever bully any of us again. I will fight back. God forgive me as i may break His commandment.

I Wanna Be Like Harry Houdini

I wanna be like Harry Houdini

And be the one to make the great escape

I wanna be where no one'll see me

You've gotta learn a lesson give and take

Lyrics from the song Arts in 'D' Minor/Harry Houdini released in 1989 by the Canadian synthpop band Kon Kan.  I was a Freshman in High School then when this song hit the radio and become sort of popular.  To me then, I loved this song because I used it as my "code" for my first High School crush, a senior.  That was 23 years ago.  Today, for me this has a whole new meaning.  It's not about crushes anymore, it's about me wanting to escape...

Harry Houdini is a very famous magician, known for his mind-boggling escapes, the Handcuff King.  How I wish I can do the great escape... But magic is just an illusion... unlike life, which is reality.  But what if you can escape life?  What if you can leave your current life and just go somewhere else where you can start anew?  What if... 

A lot of people think my life is perfect... such a cliche.  When I was younger, I am always on top of my game, a goody-two-shoes, an honor-roll student, a responsible eldest daughter.  Yup that's me.  You can say that until now I am still some of those, but you can add being a mother and a wife to that list.  Let's just say I am living the ideal life -- A woman in her 30's with a husband and daughter and a good job.  What more can I ask for huh?  This may come as a shock to those who know me, but the truth is I just want to escape from my life.  Don't get me wrong, I love my family very much, especially my daughter, but I am just tired.  Tired of all the drama... tired of proving myself to others, even to my love ones... tired of trying so hard to be nice even when I am not... tired of proving to anyone that I am not the bitch they think I am even if I just want to be a B-I-T-C-H.  I AM TIRED.  I just wanna wake up one day living a different life.